FAMILY

I'm feeling a little emotional at the moment. Many things are going through my mind, and the most important factor is "Death".

"Death" is always a scary topic that I hate to touch on but has been going through my mind a million times. I remember when I was a teenager (though I am still in my 20, not yet 20s), I keep thinking what is "me"?

I always imagine as a person out of my "human shell" and visualising myself standing there, looking at "myself" doing what I am doing everyday.

What if one day, I die? What will happened to the people around me? What if one day, someone close to me die? What will happened to me?

I always never treat anyone good before, especially to my Family. I shout at my mum for getting on my nerves, asking me questions again and again and nagging me to do the housework for her. I tsk at my father for asking too many questions and asking me for a new handphone for him to use (as his was going to be spoil) and for sending me late to work and pretend to be asleep when he's asking me questions.

I bullied my sister to do all housework on my behalf and to take care of the dog. I even laughed at her and post her ugliest pictures in facebook.

I realized, I'm evil to my family.

Why can I be so nice and sweet to anyone else but not to my family? I am so wrong, extremely wrong in my own character.

What if one day, everyone disappear? There will be no one for me to ask "Meimei, is this outfit nice? Meimei, can you bring the dog down? Mummy, wash my clothes for me? Papa, bring me to work please?" and I'm all alone.

I can't imagine that, but I understand that one day, that situation will arise and be thrown directly to me.

How can I react? What can I do?

I don't want to live my life with regrets, I don't want to be grasping the empty air and cried myself to sleep.

And from today onwards, there must be a change in me. That's to treat my family like FAMILY, not like some unknown stranger I met on the road.

I LOVE YOU.

Bangs - Hair

I was looking through my old photographs when I found this!

LOLs, this is super classic and cutes lah, wondering should I cut back the same hairstyle?*Ponders*

Jessica's Birthday

I went to Jessica's 21st Birthday yesterday. It's kinda fun to meet up those secondary school mates again. We are still the same cracking the same old jokes.

I've asked Mr. Bambam to tag along in case I feel outcast by the clique but it seems that I can blend in extremely well though. - Sorry Mr. Bambam if you felt too bored >.<

I am so glad that I went to Jessica's birthday. I wonder how will it be like for my birthday.

As I could observe, Jess was totally out of breath during her birthday, handling all the operations like food, serving people, entertaining.

In the end, we self entertained ourselves by "MAHJONG".

It was really hilarious playing Mahjong, because most of us don't know much about it. Thanks to Lingy and another 高手 who keeps guide us how to play.

I already know these fews:-

1) Flower, if number is yours, got 1 tai

2) Animal (any), got 1 is 1 tai, 2 is 2 tai

3) Got 1 tai can hu already

4) Zhuang and opposite zhuang is 19 tiles, the other 2 is 18 tiles (double layers)

Then, I learnt:-

1) Pong pong hu got 3 tai

2) Hong zong, fa cai, bai ban if got 1 is 1 tai, got 2 is 2 tai

3) Usually play maximum can win is 5 tai

4) Kang, everyone must pay the person who kang

5) Person who give the winner hu must pay double the amount

So fun mans! LOLs, it is really entertaining sia. Den we crack so many stupid jokes about each other, and knowing we didn't mean much, it was really siao eh.

Anyways, my birthday party is like 42 days later, I wonder will I be so busy anots. I hope to find a few coordinators like my friends to help me out (Jessica has a few friends to help her, especially Gabriel sia!)

I guess I need more people to help me; rallying help now!

Hehes, Mr. Bambam is out of the question cus he will be in Camp on FRIDAYs.

So, please help me out~!

Forseen Sabrina dying on the grounds at Aloha Loyang Garden Bungalow 3 on 20th November 2009.

=X CHEERS~

Ageing process

Today is mid-autumn festival. This used to be a look forward event for our family when I was still a kid.

Usually, our family will meet up at our grandparents' place and have a BBQ for all sorts of events. The kids (which refer to me+cousins) will always end the night with a tour around the neighbourhood with our brightly lighted lanterns.

I still remember we almost burned down the playground literally. And how once I met my schoolmates when we were having a brisk walk in the park.

Those were the days but it seems that when we grow up, everything changes.

The grass-patched park was torn down and replaced by concrete grounds. My grandparents moved and stay in with my uncle as the unbearable neighbour keeps disturbing them.

Now, the mid-autumn event seems like a chore to some of my cousins, finding it unnecessary to turn up even though grandmother has called several times. As I'm silently reprimanding them for their crimes, I myself am also guilty of being unfilial. I cringed too sometimes at the sound of the phone ringing, it's definitely my grandmother who is asking what time will we arrived at her place.

Today, I had the dinner as usual. But I found out something unusual this night. Grandfather's legs were as big as an elephant's. It seems that he has gotten some type of illness and it caused his leg to swell.

I'm still feeling kind of sad that I have neglected my grandparents so much and that the kids grew up too fast.

Mummy decided to take leave on Tuesday to accompany Grandfather to the polyclinic. I was reluctant to take leave as 1) I don't know if my leave can be approved 2) I'm afraid of not having enough leave anymore 3) Too many things piled up for me to clear at work

So I told mummy straight that I am not able to accompany her on Tuesday.

However, she struck me back with a question that I felt ashamed of myself, "Do you still remember that they (referring to grandparents) took the effort to come over and fetch you to the clinic the day when you were extremely sick?" [Refer to this post "Sick"]

Argh, shiat! Gotten me with that. Yeah, if my grandparents can take care of me when I felt extremely unwell, why can't I do the same to them?

So I made up my mind to take that day off on Tuesday.

I love you, my family.

When you feel sad, my heart breaks

I was having my facial today when I heard a tick.

It's his sms. Followed by the ringing of my phone. I couldn't pick up the call as I was still having my mask on and I felt helpless.

I knew something bad must have happened, but I keep wishing that he had only good news for me.

"Life sux" - I totally agreed. But I don't want you to feel sad.

Life is always unfair, there's no justice in it. But what we can do is to make life feel happier for us.

People failed 100 times in life before they become successful. And my bambam, I know you are the successful person in future. It's just that you are going through the failing chapter of your life.

Envy is evil, it kills your heart. What we can do is to congratulate them and share their happiness. Transform our saddness into someone else happiness.

Bambam, as long as we know we are the best, it's already a prize for ourselves. People may not recognised it, people may often forget it. But the memory will stay on because it's your memory.

I love you no matter what happens, where you are. My heart will always be with you. When you are joyful, I feel glad. When you are sad, my heart fills with sorrow. It's a mysterious bond that tie your feelings to my.

And when the world turns its back on you, you still have me around.

Rain: My feeling

I love Singapore because it's rainy over here.

I like the rain, but I hate the feeling of enjoying the rain alone. I'm getting a little miss-ing you type of feeling again.

It's 11 days gone for your holidays and now you're back in the camp again.

My dear, I know it's going to be hard on you for you are all alone in the vocation. But promise me you will be strong and hang on.

I know it's tiring to think of the future for both of us, to save up for our wedding and to make me a happy bride.

But for me, nothing matters except your own health. Promise me you will stay healthy for me. I don't want to see you down, or gone.

I want to enjoy the rain with you, to walk in the weather, just holding your warm hands so tightly that I can feel extremely secure. I can just sit on the bench near the beach and watch the waves coming in and forth and lie on your shoulder and just rest my eyes in peace.

I know you are disappointed at yourself for not making it but my dear, you've lost 10kgs in the whole BMT and you're excelling in all the stations except standing board jump and I can say, I'm proud of you no matter what.

And like how you once said before, the enjoyment of the rain is not just looking out of the window directly but to face the sky and look at the rain dropping down. To let the raindrops fall on your face, that's the enjoyment of looking at the rain.

We belong together.

"I only think of you on two occasions. That's day and night."

One fine day, I suddenly heard this song on my MP3 "We belong together - remix" by Mariah Carey and heard this particular part that I feel was really sweet.

So happily, I went to tell Mr. Bambam. Conversation was roughly as follows:

Me: "I only think of you on two occasions lehs."

Him: "o.O when?"

Me: "That's day and night. So this means I am thinking of you always."

Him: "Oh.. Really? Hmm..."

Me: "Hehe" *So happy that I am so sweet to him*

Suddenly,

Him: "I also think of you on two occasions only."

Me: "Ehh, you cannot copy me one. Blehs."

Him: "Noo, my is not the same. I think of you when I breathe in and breathe out. That is much more than you think of me. :)"

Me: "...... power..."

In fact, it's kinda sweet though :) I love you, Mr. Bambam

I LOVE YOU

This is too cute to be missed :)

Mr. Bambam's POP Day

My Bambam has POP-ed! Haha, it's actually last week thingy but I have not blogged about it.

I took leave for the 2 days to accompany him. His POP was very nice, except the fact that the whole family + me mistook another person as him and took pictures for the wrong guy. *Pengz* Really fainting sia.

So, I promised Mr. Bambam that if he buy a DSR camera

for me, I will zooooooom in and take pictures of him for the passing out vocational thingy. I swear I won't see wrong since I can zoom x alot alre

ady.

Anyways, let photographs do the speaking instead of me typing :)

SICK!

Never felt so sick before. Was in bed for 2 whole days. Can you imagine that??

Thursday not feeling well already, went home and slept exactly at 10pm, didn't even bother to bathe. At about 2am, I woke up feeling very hot. Went into mummy room and ask her did I have a fever, she say no have la, anyhow say.

I went back to sleep. About 30 minutes later, stomach felt abit discomfort, rushed into the toilet and puke. Saw some black coloured item coming out, unsure what it is. Went back to sleep, not long later, same thing happen. Went to the toilet to puke, same black coloured thingy.

Mum ask me did I eat the food on the table last night, I say yes, the mushroom, she scold me. She say that is leftover food, cannot eat one. Now I know what is that black coloured thingy already, it's mushroom.

Mum scold dad also cause dad never throw away the food and left it on the table. Feel very very uncomfortable. Puke the 3rd time. Morning came, everyone went to work. I'm alone at home.

I felt very very very sick, I can't even pull myself out of bed and go see doctor. Called mummy and cried. She ask Ah ma and Ah gong to bring me go see doc.

Have a fever, food poisoning, thoart infection, cold. Argh, feel so cold.

Went back ah ma house and sleep. Whole day never eat anything, no appetite. Ah ma help me put cold water on my body to make my temperature go down.

Went home, mummy cover me with 4 blankets, I keep sweat and sweat, about midnight like that felt a bit better, next morning went out to see chinese doc.

Came home, vomitted again. :'(

Fever came back, no mood but keep sleep again, this time is my Mr. Bambam with me cus my whole family went out.

Mr. Bambam spend the entire night last night to sponge me with cold water, in hope of my fever go away. Every 5 seconds help me change water, help me use the towel and wipe my hands + legs.

My fever still no go, but he still keep help me sponge my body. Every half an hour ask me wake up drink more water and eat medicine when the time reached. At about 11pm, my body temperature dropped finally. Mr. Bambam too tired, slept on the floor. I went to toilet saw him sleep there, so I went to take pillow and bloster and blanket for him.

I must say I have the best boyfriend in the world because when I am sick, he take care of me like a precious baby.

Under his care, I felt better faster! I love you Mr. Bambam!!

I hope to feel better sooner. Doc advice me not to go out, so I will just stay in. I think office environment also quite dirty, need to sterilise there already.